I had applied for a passport on the 3rd of June 2011. Yeah never had gotten around to the job because at the start of my career not having a passport had helped me get out of sticky situations. First job I would’ve had to sign a service bond if I went on a proposed 3month trip to Singapore on official work! At that time, to an extent even now, I was not so keen on going out of India. After that it just became my excuse every time I was asked to make a work trip to wherever. Recently though I figured that we might at some point exhaust all places to visit/drive to in India and then Ria might insist on a vacation to Disneyland. Telling her that I do not have a passport would really not cut the mustard. So one fine day I landed up on the website, filled out the form, printed it, filled out all that needed to be filled by hand, pasted the mugshots, added copies of documents they wanted me to add and had SG go through the document I had so painstakingly prepared… she threw it away and started another form from scratch… turns out I had printed a form for Central Mumbai Passport office when I actually needed to print it for Thane!! That is another reason why you should always have your wife go through something that important)…. anyways so armed with a filled out form etc. etc. I set out to submit it at the Thane passport office hoping to nail the bitch in 35 days flat as promised on the website.
My first interview lasted all of 30 seconds… turns out I had picked up my original form and the clerk just circled the form number and said a cryptic “you need a different form for this office”! Driving to Thane specially during rains is not a pleasant task but thankfully there is a train from my place to Thane which runs almost empty during off peak hours and then just as soon as I step off the train there is a row of rickshaws to take me to the passport office. So commuting was not an issue at all. I went back got the correct form and a couple of days later went to submit it again. This time all went well, form was scrutinized, documents checked, fees taken and a receipt handed over to me… I could expect to get the passport in 30-35 days. So smug as a bug in a rug I went home and started the process of waiting, checking the website for status updates and checking the status of forms which were applied around 3rd June with mine (simple just change the digits of your application number and you get the details of name/dob/status of the other person…. so much for security/social engineering/privacy/lakhs spent on automation of the process). Turns out that by 3rd July most of the people around my application date had either received or had had their verifications done. I was kind of irritated but then I said “wth if I don’t get a passport that is not the end of the world… at all”. Anyways on a hunch I went and met the local police post incharge and found out where I had to inquire about the police verification. He guided me to the passport cell at a larger police station responsible for our area. The people there in turn guided me to the Police Commissioners office for Navi Mumbai. That is where I was informed that my application had been lost in transit between Thane passport office and the commissioners office and I needed to have them find/resend it. Thankfully they gave me this in writing. So back to Thane passport office.
Ah well long and short of it I met the Assistance Passport officer who apologized, or what I took to be an apology coz he never really said anything that had a “sorry” in it, and asked me to fill out the Personal Particular form once again and give to him. I did that and then realized I was not carrying copies of the recent stamp sized mugshots which I had used on the original form! But I did have some 5 year old ones in one of the pockets of my bag… which I promptly proceeded to stick on the PP form. So now the main form had one picture and the PP forms had a different one. Anyways the assistant Passport officer accepted the PP forms and assured me it will be processed today itself. Wow! Sounds too good to be true.
Month down the line I revisit the local police station to find out if they have at least received the verification request now. Turns out they have. I’m like “then what were you guys waiting for? why didn’t you call me in for an interview?!”….. anyways what’s the point, you can’t argue with royalty and policemen. So I ask him what all he needs and he gives me a long list of documents that he wants to look at, besides wanting to meet the people whom I have mentioned as local references. I find the last bit pretty lame considering no one really knows or cares about who lives next door. Why would anyone come to the police station with me to get this done. Anyways I realize in my head that this is just the guys way of saying “too bad dude you should’ve hired an agent to do this” coz an agent would have known how to bribe him and work around the “I want to meet your neighbors at my police station” bit.
Went home collected my documents and called up one of my neighbors who is also a reference on the passport form. Turns out he was working from home that day and was available to go later in the day. Yay! So I called up the inspector and arranged for an interview. Documents submitted, grilling questions like “where are you from?” answered (as if anyone knows where human beings came from… that question needs to be retired now in this age of generations of nuclear families)… I prepared to leave…. but somehow I just had to ask “Sir I’ve read on the internet that there is a fees involved with this, this verificaton process. Do you know anything about it?”…. well it’s better to be safe than sorry…. right? He brushed it away saying “naa naa it’s ok nothing at all, all good”….. phew that went well, not that I would’ve minded paying a bribe just that him saying no made me feel good about working with the system… nevermind how idiotic I felt about having asked the question.
So this interview wrapped up on the 17th of August and the website still showed “police verification report not recieved” on the 2nd of September…. So I landed up at the commissioners office and they tell me that the documents have not arrived from the Turbhe police station. I called up the inspectors assistant and he takes down my file number. A few minutes later I call him back and he says he found the file buried under some other files and will have it sent right away. I’m thinking “like whaaaa!” This is not rocket science guys this is what you are paid to do every day. It’s not a process you need to rebuild for every case. But anyways I just said “thankyou very much” and hung up. So this means the file should be at the commissioners office in a couple of days tops and the passport office in 5 days at most. I check the status on the 7th but no change.
So today, 12th September, after picking Ria up at school, on a whim, I drove to the Commissioners office. All of us (Ria, SG and I) went in. The girls waited in the sitting area while I went and stood in the queue. Luckily just a two minute wait. I asked the lady about my file number, she keyed it in and came back with a “your verification documents were ok and have been dispatched on the 6th of September”. I’m like wow! Checked the status online and sure enough now it shows “Police Report is clear and the passport is expected to be despatched by 24-09-2011. Subject to all documents being in order.”
I am not exactly sure if this means I’ll get the passport without any more jugglery, that mismatched picture issue just might come up, but at least I now know who the lucky mascots are. Hopefully we will make that Disneyland trip after all!